Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tomorrow never comes

I worked with a buddy of mine, actually my oldest friend. We have been friends since the 2nd grade. He is into film production and has aspirations to break into the industry and become a millionaire. I think he will do it because he is strong minded and a good worker. He's already produced a few films and always has something in the works. Hearing him talk about his work this past weekend and where he is headed got me thinking about where I am right now. I'm so scatter brained and without any sense of direction. I don't know what I want to do except that I would like to make a good amount of money and be successful. Everyday I feel like doing something different and when it comes down to it I just don't have the follow through right now to see things through. I'm sitting here when I should be working so that when night comes I can go meet up with my friends as planned. I am going to waste my day, hurry to the gym later and then drink till I get drunk tonight. People my age are already well on their career path. What's really scary is I know it isn't too late yet, and that if I started on my way, on my track tomorrow, I would still be OK and would be able to catch and pass them on the road to success very soon. Tomorrow never comes for me. There is always tomorrow but that tomorrow just never comes. It's an endless today where I don't get anything done.
It is such a great feeling to get what you needed to get done during the day. I haven't felt that in the longest time. I worked hard this past weekend, something I hadn't done in a while, and I felt great for a couple of hours. Before long the week had started and I was back to square one and no progress with a feeling of hopelessness.
I left my last job about 2 years ago and wrote several blog entries at the time about how I was bogged down and had to leave my job because school and work was just too much. Well, it's 2 years later and I still have that feeling. I'm in a better mental state but I think in some ways I'm just more complacent with where I'm at. I think I haven't made any physical progress in terms of my career. I still fuck up with late assignments with the classes I'm taking and I have all the time in the world to complete them.
I'm scared that I will never accomplish anything worthwhile.

DJ Shadow and Mos Def - Six Days Remix (Tomorrow never comes...)

Same story, new day.

I just can't get myself to do my school work. I'm so behind in all my classes that I've cut back on my work hours to catch up. I can't however even come close to starting on my term papers and finishing late HW assignments. Yesterday I spent a good chunk of my day just looking at porn. The only thing productive I did was to vacuum my house and go to the gym.
Someone I was working with last weekend said something to me that really struck a nerve. It was one sentence that sent me on a whirlwind of self introspection. "Small minded people say no, champions say yes!" We were moving equipment at the time and looking back now, I suppose I was taking shortcuts to getting the work done. In my defense I had already been working 12 hours. Regardless, the way he said it really got to me. It wasn't a statement, but rather a soft mumbling which he uttered. I had to strain to hear it and didn't realize what he said until a couple of minutes later. This really pissed me off. If you have something worthwhile to say, just say it, don't mumble it in the hopes that the person will hear you. Anyway, this guy was right and it got me to just put my head down and work. I resented him for it until I was able to realize that I was not working up to par. Most of the resentment was because I never took him to be a smart guy and the fact that he made that statement and the way he made it meant that I had severely underestimated his intellect.
It's a sort of mantra for me this week: "Small minded people say no, champions say yes!" It's so true sometimes. You gotta have a can-do attitude to go anywhere in this world. It's all about your attitude and that has a great effect on the people around you as well.
Going back to my slacking this week. I haven't emailed a couple of my friends for some time now. I was talking to a couple of girls on a regular basis and have left them hanging. Understandably they have been eagerly awaiting my emails for some time now, since we've been getting to know each other. (I say 'understandably' because I am decidedly more funny in my emails than I am in this blog. As a matter of fact there really is no humor here in this blog. I write when I'm sad or blocked up on something in my life. It's unusual because I include humor in almost everything I do, except work.)

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Thanksgiving work

I've been working this weekend doing some promotional work. The pay is good and I'm helping out a friend.
I've been talking to a number of ladies lately over email, some of who have actually become friends. It has been nice. It's nice to have someone to share things with. Combine all these girls together and you have a perfect girl!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sri Lanka: killing for peace

There has been an ongoing conflict on the island nation of Sri Lanka for decades. Scores of people have died amidst on again off again wars and peace accords. The worst part is that it's hard to determine who the "good guys" are. The LTTE "Tigers" are officially labeled a terrorist organization but the government of Sri Lanka has also committed many atrocities against it's people. Human rights violations, abductions, and torture are just some of the things that are going on every day in this island nation.

"Reporter Sandra Jordan and director Siobhan Sinnerton travel to northern Sri Lanka and uncover the government's heavy-handed tactics in the latest stage of the country's 30-year civil war. As the first foreign journalists to visit the city of Jaffna, Jordan and Sinnerton discover that the government has abandoned the ceasefire signed in 2002 in favour of a military campaign against the rebel Tamil Tigers - with many innocent civilians paying the price. The Sri Lankan Civil War is an ongoing conflict on the island-nation of Sri Lanka. Since the year 1983, there has been on-and-off civil war, predominantly between the government and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE, also known as the Tamil Tigers), a separatist militant organization who fight to create an independent state named Tamil Eelam in the North and East of the island. The origins of the Sri Lankan civil war lie in sharp disagreements over language, access to universities, and riots between Sri Lanka's majority Sinhalese, mostly Buddhist, and minority Tamil, mostly Hindu, community. These gradually but continuously escalated from the 1920s until the outbreak of civil war in 1983."

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Unable to concentrate

I just can't seem to get anything done right here and now. I'm home today, because I have a paper to work on, and several other assignments. I just can't seem to get much work done. What is it that makes me just not want to apply myself for even the shortest amount of time? If I can't even do that, I start to wonder how I will be able to accomplish anything worthwhile in my life. There's so many things to do and I have such a good opportunity to do them. I just can't bring myself to get anything done.
The sad thing is if I put my mind to it and concentrated I would be able to finish everything I need to in a matter of a day or two. Then just imagine the possibilities for what I could do with my time after that.
I've just been dipping into my saving account for the past couple of months. I need to start applying myself and make some money.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Night in the city

I headed into the city last night to celebrate my friend's birthday at B-Bar. He's one of my fraternity buddies from college and I got to see a lot of my old friends. His girlfriend's friends came to the party and I got to meet a girl by the name of Carolina. She's a curvaceous dark skinned Dominican beauty. After some time at the bar and a little coaxing she agreed to leave the bar with me. By then all my friends had headed out and her friends were getting ready to leave. We split with them outside and about 30 minutes later we were checked into the W hotel. Another 30 minutes later and we were both naked. A little breakfast in the morning, a walk in the park, and then we headed our separate ways.

Friday, November 02, 2007

World's Sexiest Butt Winner: Kristina Dimitrova

Winner of the 2007 World Backside Championships Kristina Dimitrova of Bulgaria, shows off her backside in Munich. Link to her online profile with more pics of her and that beautiful ass.