Monday, January 25, 2010

Jersey Shore

Anybody seen the show they call the Jersey Shore?  Of course you have.  Motherfuckers is raw on that show, rockin' and jockin' on the sandy, dirty, filthy beaches of the west coast of Jersey.  Gorilla juiced to the max dudes, biceps the size of a regular dude's thighs.  Ladies got breasts that a few years from now will surely hang down to their hips.  Hair so high on the men and the women that it takes a bottle of gel, hair-spray, and molding paste on each individuals head, just to get ready to go down to the beach and take a dip in the water.  Days start off with visits to the gym to get those muscles poppin'.  Next stop is the tanning salon because lets be honest, you don't come to the shore to actually expose yourself to the vile Jersey air, garbage strewn sand, and the medical waste filled water.  Last stop is the laundry to get the jeans pressed and the skin-tight shirts ready for the fist puppin', pelvis thrustin', promiscuity that will ensue on the dance floor much much later in the day.  All this only leaves enough time for a nice family style meal of pasta, sausage and peppers, and a little red wine (it's good for the heart).  They eat together what seems like every evening, coming together briefly in what actually resembles a family.  Ironically this is the one act during the day that seems normal but is it really?  No family gets to eat their evening meals together everyday anymore.  So I say that this family style meal, bringing normality to the lifestyle of these young adults, is really not normal for the rest of us at all.  It further alienates this group from what we consider to be the normal behavior throughout our day.  
The night is usually kicked off with at a minimum of 2 hours of preparation of makeup, hair product, shaving, etc.  and that is just for the guys.  A pre-game of  liquor, vodka, rum, for zen cocktails ensues and the group gets ready to go out and cause havoc.  A good night it will be if no one gets into a fight.  The juice that flows through the male Jersey Shore veins and that attracts the ladies is the same juice that causes innumerable highly nonathletic brawls.  Yes, nonathletic is the word.  Although there's a lot of brawn and tanned flesh, there's not much finesse on the dance floor.  What you see is fist pumping, beat thumping, and egos on display in a bacchanal on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore.  This is where entire generations have been flocking to let their hormones run free and finally, someone has captured this right of passage for our viewing pleasure. 


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