Tuesday, November 30, 2004

So sleepy

Well I had a pretty nice Thanksgiving weekend. I went to see the floats on the upper west side the night before the Thanksgiving day parade. They had them lined up on the street and you could practically walk up to them.
Went bowling on Friday and then to Park Slope, Brooklyn on Saturday. My friend's girlfriend had a house party.
Next week I'm going up to Binghamton.
I am so fuckin' sleepy right now though. All I want to do is go home and crawl into bed. It is cold in my office and I am miserable.

Friday, November 05, 2004


Going to be having dinner tonight with Kim and Genine. Looking forward to it. They usually keep me entertained.
I still have a paper to write though and it is due tomorrow. I have waited till the last minute once again. I don't know when I'm going to do it. Maybe I'll start it here at work. It's not like I've been doing much of anything here anyway. I have mostly just been surfing the internet for the past 3 days. Literally all day. I've run out of interesting stuff on the web. There is plenty of interesting stuff out there. It's just that your brain can only handle so much of the internet. I've already overloaded it bigtime.
It looks nice out today. It would be a nice day to ride. By the time I get out of the office though, it is already dark. Daylight savings time is in effect.
I have been feeling really shitty lately and I've been taking it out on everybody around me. I've been mean, especially to my parents. I'm frustrated and pissed off. I haven't been getting much of anything accomplished at work or at home.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Nose Candy

This past Thursday night I decided that I finally needed to finish a paper that I have been working on. It was already long overdue. I have not been wanting to do it or any HW for my Calc. class. I have just been putting it all off. I know that I'm falling behind and getting into that all too familiar groove.
I have been fiending weed for a while now and I was so close to needing something to fill some type of void in me. I needed a pick me up or an escape from this reality that I have been stuck in. I felt like I was going to go crazy.
I was so close to calling one of my friends up to go cop a 20 sack but I didn't. Instead I went to my stash of meds that I still have from 2 years ago. I have a whole bottle of methylphenidate and I decided that I would feel good if I broke it up and snorted a 20mg capsule. I did it and it definately gave me a high. I also was able to sit down and finish my paper. I stayed up till 4:30am doing just that. I also snorted 1 more capsule in that time. I have to admit it did feel good. It also got me excited about going out this weekend as I planned to take a few hits during the course of Saturday night.
Saturday night rolls around and I did a line before I left for the city to meet up with one of my boys. It made me jittery on the train and just nervous. I brought 3 more pills with me. I swallowed 2 more throughout the course of the night.
It was a good night but I realized one thing. This pill is not the answer I am looking for. Nor is any other drug. I resolved to flush down the toilet all those meds I have stored. I haven't done it yet but I will be doing it.
I take such good care of my body and health. I don't need to be fucking that up with any type of crap.