I am an addict. I have to admit this to myself first and foremost. I am addicted to weed. I fell off the wagon the last 2 months of last year. Before that I had gone 3 1/2 years without smoking.
I want to smoke.
I don't know who to turn to for help right now. There is only one person that can help and that is me. I have to find the strenght within myself to say no everyday.
Even as I write this I am imagining how nice it would be to sit outside on the swing and smoke a blunt tomorrow. Not only am I imagining it but I am giving myself hope that maybe I will let myself smoke tomorrow.
Addiction is a horrible thing.

Wet step

You know that feeling you get when you are walking around your house with socks on and you step in something wet. Every step you take after that is wet. It sends chills up your spine and ruins that comfortable feeling you get in your own home. Step, wet, step, wet, step, wet...

VH1 Celebrity Swag

VH1 Celebrity Swag

I've been watching this show on the celebrity obsessed VH1 for the past hour. It's about all the free stuff and perks that are thrown at celebrities. Money for appearing at parties, free gifts including cell phones, handhelds, etc., it never seems to end for them.

Some of these people aren't even actors and actresses. (I consider acting a talent). Some of these people are just personalities, ie. Paris Hilton. I suppose I must give them credit for being able to make money off their name and their looks.

Mid-Week. Trying to figure out what to do for the next couple of months. I will be moving out in May, that is for sure. Queens will be the spot.

Received my first false number this past Saturday night. Came to the numbing realization that dating in NY is not exactly a walk in the park. Also came to the realization that women can be the most charming things in the world and then turn around and give you false hope with a wrong phone number.

-2006-

Welcome 2006.

"When I close my eyes I see paradise. A sun drenched vista, a warmed sea breeze ushering me along a sandy shore. I choose to feel the sand beneath my feet. To watch the sunset and know when it rises I have a plan. I want 2006 to be the year I look at life as an opportunity, not an obstacle. This year I'm going to start my journey toward a career. And when I get there I will see paradise with my eyes open." - As read on the N train from Queens to Manhattan in an ad about a 4 year university.

New Year's Eve was fun. N planned the night in Jersey City. Good night.